"Competing With My Team Is Much Easier"

I finally had a chance to go through more Olympic material and I realized I hadn't said anything on Seda Tutkhalyan's Olympic journey. Well that's unacceptable. Seda was named to the team under the most depreciating of circumstances; fans didn't want her, critics (myself included) questioned her worthiness, and coaches waited until they were certain Afan couldn't perform before they added her to the lineup. She still had a core group of family, friends, and fans who supported and believed in her, but the larger public response was negative and up until the Olympics began no one could forget that she was a substitute. 

But once the Olympics started, she was one of the more positive facets of a messy qualifications that left Russia without any beam or floor finalists. I was surprised at the steady way she performed through quals and TF, she being the only team member to twice put up the necessary 14's on beam. Who woulda thought? I was also amazed to see that bars was consistently her highest scoring apparatus, not vault or beam. I mean, the UB judging was off it's rocker, but I still appreciate that the girl who crowed when she received her first international 14.0 in Baku had a 6.5 d-score a year later. I wonder what damage she might have done to the All Around if she were capable of doing the long awaited amanar. Even without the 6.3 amanar Seda was going very strong in the AA until an over rotated double pike, off the beam, left her stumbling onto her butt. Up until that moment I was hoping she would cap off another solid beam routine with the full-in dismount, but for whatever reason, the Russians went very conservative at the Olympics (with the exception of Aliya's last minute bars upgrade). 

The All Around is probably burned into her memory as the worst competition ever, and I'm upset for her that it ended this way, particularly because it somewhat mimics 2015 World's, where she qualified top 8 but finished in 15th. She [perhaps] knew that an Olympic podium was always out of reach, but I sense this was meant to be a purifying moment, where all past mistakes and disappointments would be wiped clean and forgotten if she could show a strong performance here. Instead, watching her cloister up and cry, dealing with her anger internally, kind of hit home how no one feels more frustrated by her constant mistakes than she does. Sometimes when people talk about Seda it's as if they think she doesn't care that she could've been a European/World/Olympic medalist, like she's totally unfazed by all the what if's and errors in her career. But of course she cares. I just think she feels as helpless in how to remedy the nature of her mistakes as coaches are. I'll never forget when the beam final in Glasgow ended, Andrei Rodionenko asked why she fell on her layout and she responded, "I don't know." It was a similar bafflement that engulfed her after the Olympic AA, failing to understand how so much preparation could fail at such a crucial time, and once again saying she "didn't know why" her strength had gone on fx. Physically she was up to the task but after the bb fall certified she would not pass Aliya, or any other gymnasts in medal contention, I think her mental strength was drained which led to a lack of fight on the floor. Scoring a 10 at the Olympics would knock the wind out of anyone but what else should happen after your moment of redemption turns into your moment of failure? To an Aliya stan like me, the AA was a success because the Queen picked up a medal, but I see now that her younger teammate is on a different journey that has nothing to do with glory or medals; she is being weighted down by her past and anything less than a hit 4-for-4 competition is a concession to defeat. If she can't escape this mental prison, I worry about her long term prospects. She needs a healthy body, mind, and attitude.

Seda told reporters she would try to remember these Olympics through her efforts in bringing the team to a stunning silver, and I hope she knows how intrinsic she was to that success. She also said that competing with her girls is much less of a strain because, though the pressure to hit remains the same, there is such a bond of support from them that it's easier to carry on through any hardships. We only need to see how Melka was comforted to comprehend Seda's words. I'm so proud of Tut for coming through when it mattered most, and I hope people will shift the narrative away from pretending she purposely antagonizes us with her "antics", and instead be a little more sympathetic to the burden of responsibility she's always nurtured of being her country's next great All Arounder.