It Could Be Worse

Yes, it definitely could be. Readers, I am not telling you a lie when I say I thought I had a stroke when Angelina put her hand down on the beam. It was so out of the ordinary and I was not emotionally prepared for having to worry about someone so typically stable. When Seda got downgraded I grew anxious and felt like throwing up, that's how bad the butterflies in my stomach were. Not used to having physical reactions to a sport, I became consciously nervy. So when Aliya came off the beam, that's when the floodgates opened. I cried and cried and cried and not because it was over for Team Russia. It wasn't; I knew they would make TF no matter what. I cried because I so badly want Aliya to have the going out party she deserves. 

For years I followed gymnastics sporadically, switching between RG and AG with neither capable of holding my attention fully. It was the 2012 European WAG team that made me fully invested in the sport. So in many ways, the 2013-16 quad is my first cycle as a bonafide hardcore gym fan. I have a special place for girls like Daria, Seda, and Angelina in my heart because I watched them as juniors and now I get to see them live their dreams on the biggest stage. Last quad I liked Aliya, this quad I love her. The difference? Coming off the Olympics, I had this vision of her as an invincible competitor- the way people view Biles now- but when she stumbled, and suffered, and sacrificed, I began to understand the price of having such a formidable reputation. A mistake from her leads to derision and mockery, a fall might throw an entire fandom into despair, a victory is viewed with contempt by her detractors. Of all the strange things, none was more shocking than when I began to feel protective of a young woman who appeared to have it all. She's worked very hard and always gives one hundred percent to the team even when she herself isn't at one hundred percent in health. So yeah, I cried when she fell, and I know it's just gymnastics and other things matter more in the world, but it was a shock for me to see my hero fall when this should be her moment to shine. 

I realize that Russia is probably only going to make three individual event finals. One could argue that we never would've won a medal on floor anyways, but that's neglecting a larger point. Their visual representation takes on an added meaning when you remember that the entire Rusian squadron was almost banned from these Games! How wonderful it would have been to see Aliya and Angelina participate in a floor final, making the crowds fall in love with them, showing the world what they would have missed if WADA had their way. These Olympics just feel like a bust to me. In 2012, I had multiple opportunities to see the girls, and I still enjoy those youtube videos showing all four routines simultaneously and observing how the little nuances in execution differ. Not this team. 

And you can't tell me Russia couldn't have medalled on beam. We have a European and Russian champion in our lineup, and a world finalist on this apparatus. At their best, any of them could put up scores higher than Saraiva's currently leading 6.3 beam set. It's depressing that they won't get a chance. I'm not hating on non-Russians who have done their job and are moving on to finals; of course it pleases me to see them grasp their dreams. I speak purely from the selfish vantage point of a Russia fan who knows what her team is capable of as well.

But as one of my anon's said, it could be worse. Cheers to you anon because for a minute there I thought it WOULD get worse! I'm happy that the girls have qualified to events they have high chances of medalling or winning- it speaks to their excellence. But sometimes I tire of having to find the silver lining with Team Russia. 

Mustafina's thoughts on quals